bizarre christmas incident şarkı sözü

(ho, ho, ho...play it grandpa...yeah, play it...let´s tell them a little story
about what happened this christmas.... yeah, tell them... tell ´em ´bout
christmas)

christmas eve, i didn´t get much sleep
i kept hearing things, heavy breathing from the chimney
who could it be?

(i´ll tell you what it was... what happened then, ben?... yeah, what
happened?... well, i went back to sleep... you went back to sleep? back to
sleep? shit... tired man, went back to sleep)

and in the morning, i couldn´t believe my eyes
a whale of a corpe with a long white beard
was dangling over the fire

oh, santa he´s a big fat fuck
went down the chimney got his fat ass stuck
oh, honey, call the lawyers fast
´cause mrs. clause is gonna sue my ass
hey, hey, hey

(ok grandpa, step up, sing in this thing right here, tell ´em what you saw,
tell ´em what you saw grandpa)

i gotta tell you folks,
he wasn´t wearin no clothes
he musta rubbed a whole gallon of crisco oil
from his back down to his toes
while i was talking to the cops outside
the dog was lickin crisco off of his thighs
they hauled him away in a double-wide
what a sad, sad way to die
hey, hey, hey

santa, he´s a big, fat fuck
went down the chimney, got his fat ass
oh, honey call the lawyers fast,
mrs. claus is gonna sue our ass